Sunday, 29 May 2016

The Milestones

My son turned nine months a few days ago and I can barely believe just how fast he is growing, just the other day he was a tiny little thing and now he is trying to stand though he still has a long way to go. The most interesting thing for me about motherhood I would say is watching them learn and accomplish the little milestones. I remember when he was just a new born baby and he could barely smile to express his excitement, it is still amazing to learn that babies aren’t born knowing how to smile; they learn it. Now he has about 10 different expressions to let me know when he is super excited and when he is not happy.

 1.      The Smile
Like I said, babies aren’t born knowing how to smile (at least not intentionally to express joy and happiness). Some babies, like my boy usually smile in their sleep or when they pass gas when they are about 1 month but by around two months (give or take) they learn how to smile. And it is so magical when he whips out that adorable toothless smile that melts your heart.

2.      Supporting his head
When my son was born, some of my friends would refuse to hold him because of the mechanics of having to support his head and hold him well. I remember even I kept worrying that I might not be holding him well the first few days after birth; I was always concerned about if he is comfortable and such but I got the hang of it with time. In his first few months, I couldn’t wait to have his little neck strengthen up so he could hold his head up by himself because I was always worried about giving him to someone who had no experience with babies to hold him. I literary did not take my eyes off my baby for the first month, he would be in a friend’s or family’s arms but I would be watching closely to make sure he was being held well and was comfortable. By the third month, his neck got stronger and he could hold his head up for minutes at a time and finally by four months, he was supporting his head. I learnt a good exercise routine that helped strengthen his back and neck from month 2 onwards. I would put him on his tummy for about a min or two and he would try to lift his head. I read that in a book and it really seemed to help. They called it tummy time though it’s important to remember not to put him on his tummy after feeding, you don’t want him to lose his lunch.

3.      Sitting down
I remember I read in an article once that your baby will let you know when they are ready to sit and I was baffled by that. How does he let you know? He will start trying to prop himself up when you hold him. When he does, you can hold him in a sitting position for a few minutes at a time while supporting him. As his back gets stronger, he will be able to stay in that position for a much longer time. My son started trying to sit at five months and by six months, he could sit with some support (the c-shaped pillow I bought for breastfeeding but it never worked for that purpose). As it turns out that pillow is a good place for him to relax in since it supports his back and provides barriers on the side so he doesn’t fall over. By seven months, he was sitting by himself like a big boy.

4.      Weaning
I was fortunate enough to be able to exclusively breastfeed my son for six months. My work allows me to work from home from time to time as long as I have my laptop and an internet connection. I remember when my son was five months I tried to give him baby formula but it didn’t sit well with his tummy; he would always vomit it so I quit the formula. Being around 24-7 also didn’t help him accept the bottle either, he would cry his little heart out if I put a bottle in his mouth because he was used to the breast. But when he got to six months and I tried to give him a little cerelac (baby cereal); he ate it with no fuss. I gave him cerelac for a week then introduced infant porridge and he loved it! About two weeks later I gave him some food (boiled mixture of potatoes with green bananas and a leaf of spinach then mashed and mixed with some milk to soften it then sieved.) and he ate that pretty well too. I was lucky that he is an angel during feeding time; he does not play with his meals and as a result he is a chubby and healthy boy. A few months down the line, I introduced some fruits in his diet, and I also added boiled pumpkin with potatoes too. Looking into adding more nutrients in his diet right now. He still breastfeeds through the night and in the morning before I head to work and in the evening after work. My advice would be, breastfeed your baby as much as you can.  There are a lot of working moms who would love to breastfeed exclusively for six months but cannot because their careers don’t give them the freedom. Most companies will give you a three-four months maternity leave and you have to work to provide for your child so you do the best you can within those constraints. Express at night or in the morning and leave a bottle for your child; when it is done he will take some formula and when you get back in the evening breastfeed him and feed him through the night and your little angel will still get all those nutrients. Big up to career moms; it is not easy being a full time career woman and a mother.

5.      Sleeping through the night
The first few months after I had my son, I was a walking zombie and so sleep deprived! Unfortunately, instead of sleeping through the day when my munchkins slept, I tried to get things done around the house and catch up on some work and sometimes I would even be up watching a movie or series (I’m a movie junkie). But about a month in, I was so exhausted I could barely make it through ten minutes of a movie without blacking out. So I started sleeping when he slept during the day and suddenly the long nights weren’t so bad. He would wake up at 2am and decide he wants to chill and not go back to sleep because he didn’t know the difference between day and night. I remember how eager I was for the day he would sleep through the night. He sleeps well this days, since he was about 5months old. He only wakes up to feed and goes right back to sleep after he gets some milk in his tummy. So as far as exhaustion goes, it is still there but in much smaller proportions now. Soon he will sleep all night without waking up to breastfeed, waiting for that day.

6.      Teething
Teething is a not a fun milestone for your baby because of the sore gums as the tiny teeth try to break through the gum. It might consequently be a bit tough for you too depending on your baby’s reaction to it. My son just got his fast two bottom teeth about a month and a half ago but the teething process probably lasted about two to three months. When they were breaking through he couldn’t sleep well at night because of the discomfort and you just need to sooth him and get him through it. I got my son a chew toy that he could nibble on to kind of scratch his gums and ease the discomfort. At this stage, you have make sure you clean his hands regularly because they will constantly be in his mouth and so will everything he can get his hands on. Also, buy plenty of bibs. My son got into a heavy drooling stage when he started teething and he would go through about 6 bibs a day; just soaking them with drool. I also learnt that the saliva can dry your baby’s chin and give him rashes so it is always best to try clean his chin and around the mouth regularly and apply some baby jelly to keep his skin from drying and cracking. Works like a charm for my boy.


I could go on and on and on about the milestones but I will have to cut this one short. The most important thing to do in my opinion during your baby’s milestones is just enjoy them and take lots of baby pics. I have like a million photos (I exaggerateJ) of my son and he is only nine months. I went through some of his photos from day one to now just the other day and was beyond amazed by how much he has grown! If you want to share some of your experiences; drop me an email: motherhoodfirsttimearound@gmail.com. Let’s get sharing moms.

Sunday, 21 February 2016

The intro

Motherhood is not a science, it's an art. You get better with years of practice but no one can really say they have it down. None of us really know going in what to expect or do but with mother instincts, google university, books and advise from your mother and the mothers in your life....you learn the ropes. I think as new mothers we don't really get enough information going in so sometimes we don't know what's normal or what's not. So i'm here to share some of my experiences and maybe they will shed a light for you....this is sort of my motherhood journal.

So when you're pregnant, you experience a lot of things, like those first kicks....before you're sure it's even a kick because you have no idea what it is supposed to feel like. Some people have good pregnancies, where you have no symptoms whatsoever, the only thing that proves you are pregnant is your baby bump and those little kicks and movements from your little one. My pregnancy on the other hand was unforgiving, i had every symptom and anything that could happen...happened. I had terrible morning sickness, i got acne, my skin discolored and i was swollen like a balloon! Towards the end of my pregnancy, i got gestational high blood pressure which is high blood pressure caused by the pregnancy....my feet, face and hands would swell up a lot and the doctors said it was a dangerous condition for the well being of both me and the child. They said it could be fatal for the baby and that is not something you want to hear when you're pregnant at any stage but especially not at nine months when you're at the finish line. I got admitted in hospital so that the doctors could monitor both my health and the baby's during that time. It was a scary time for me as you can imagine! When i got to 38 weeks, i was induced because i couldn't carry that pregnancy to term with that condition.

Labor! You know how you're expected to know when contractions start and you have no idea what they are supposed to feel like? I was admitted to be induced on a Monday but because of the high blood pressure, they had to get me off the hypertension meds before inducing so i was induced on Tuesday at around 12 pm and it took about 6 hrs for the meds to start kicking in. At around 10pm i had started getting some backaches but no contractions. The contractions started at 4am on Wednesday morning and i was nervous cause it finally hit that this is it! I'm going into labor. The contractions felt like cramps at the start so i managed to drift in and out of sleep through some of them in the first 2 hrs. At 6 am they got a bit more intense and the nurses encouraged me to walk around in order to ease into it faster. Walking around helped for a while but by 8am i could barely get out of bed because of how painful they were. At 9 am it was unbearable but the nurses consoled me by telling me i'm close. Without going into graphic details, at 9.48 am i delivered my handsome little baby boy normally without any complications. I remember the first time they put him in my arms, i was so overwhelmed with emotions.....i felt so much love and joy that the last couple of hours of labor completely got pushed to the back of my mind and it was so worth it!

So labor and pushing is hard but in comparison to the challenges ahead, it's a walk in the park.....take it from me. So before i went to the hospital, i imagined that the nurses teach you everything you need to know in those 2 days you are in the hospital after delivery but how wrong i was! So you're given this little delicate human being and he doesn't come with a manual....all they tell you is to put him on his side when he sleeps so that he doesn't choke on his burp and to burp him after feeding him (which also in those first days isn't easy because he is like an egg and you're terrified of breaking him). The good news though is that with time you get a handle on most of those things but don't be afraid to ask the nurses anything you're not sure about. So in summary let me catch you up on what i learnt in those first months;

  1. Feeding doesn't come naturally to you and your child, it's a learning process.
  2. Your baby's tummy will probably ache the first few days as his tummy gets used to digesting
  3. Your baby will have no defined sleep pattern in the first one or two months and you will have long exhausting nights....so when he sleeps, sleep with him
  4. If your baby is anything like mine, he will outgrow his clothes in the first three months and wont even fit in some at birth. My little man came out tall so all his rompers didn't fit him at birth. My advice; buy a lot of 6-12 months outfits...you will need them
  5. Don't be shy about googling anything and getting advise when you feel stuck
  6. Always follow your instinct, you might not be experienced but your instinct is your manual....you will get tonnes of unsolicited advise and a lot of information in books, google and other mothers but at the end of the day, you know what's best for your child. You are already wired for this...if it feels right, do it if not leave it be.
I can't share everything all at once in this moment but keep checking the blog.  My little man is hitting six months this week and i'll share anything that comes to me from the first months and the new adventures we are experiencing right now. Also, don't be shy about asking questions, i might not be a guru but if my experience helps you...then i'm more than happy to share. You can always drop me an email to share your experience or ask a question and i will respond as soon as i can. Welcome to my blog, motherhood-the-first-time-around.